Not much to say really other than I'm utterly disapointed and ashamed of myself. I've done nothing but eat sh*t, barely exercise since I was pregnant and had my son.
I've used every excuse there is, but fact it I'm so ashamed of my body, my secret eating habits all of it and I don't know how to stop. I want to but maybe not enough to turn things around. I don't for a second think I'm suffering from PND, but do wonder about a hint of depression about what I've done to my body.
I've avoided this blog in an attemp to pretend it just doesn't exist and my "problem" will go away, but how long can I avoid the fat rolls for?
I bought size 20 pants the other day, discovered they don't fit and had to return them, utterly mortifying.....
I wear maternity pants because I don't have to shop for new pants.
I kept thinking it doesn't matter, I'm going to have another baby and get fat anyway, but the facts are that I'm unhealthy, unfit and won't get pregnant at the moment because my body won't let me...
I have to suck it up and f*cking realise that I'm living in complete denial.... I hate that people look at me.
I've now become ashamed to walk with my son around the streets in the morning because I feel like everyone is looking at me.
I have to get out of this rut and believe in myself again....
Give me strength.
Watch me Lose
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