Weigh Day :S

Well yes, I weighed in this morning as promised and here it is exactly 105kgs. :( 
So this is reality and I can't hide from it anymore. Hubby and I took our son on his first walk this morning and as much as I enjoyed it I must admit that my fitness is completely gone and I struggled with 30-40 mins at a slow pace. I found the muscles in my lower back were really hurting and I feel like I need a deep tissue massage to try and ease up the muscles and help the pain. 
I had problems with my back when I was pregnant and suspect that the muscles are still tense following baby's delivery. I had physio in hospital and this helped so I think I need to look into seeing a physio again before I do some damage - BUT I'm not going to let that stop me from gentle walking. 
I'm still waiting to get the all clear from my doc following my C-Section (had baby 5 weeks ago) so I can't go gung ho at the moment and know that I have to give myself time to recover too. I don't have any unrealistic expectations that I will suddenly be able to do it all again overnight but it's frustrating to realise I have to start this all again. 

I have to remain positive and realise if I've done it before I can do this again. Yes, it will be different having a baby to look after first and then me but I can do it. I'm hoping we will be in the financial position for me to join the gym again because that's how I worked myself so hard and really saw a difference in my toning more than anything. I'm not sure I'd be ready to leave my son in the creche so I'd only go when my hubby was at home so either first thing in the morning or when my hubby got home from work. But that's down the track, for the mean time it's walking and getting my eating and portion control back again.

I did make sure that I bought new exercise gear to work out in so I didn't have any excuses not to get out there and do this. I have to realise that my triggers are boredom and stress, so if I can  detect these and realise I should be able to not overeat or eat the wrong things. I also will make sure I just don't buy things of temptation when doing my shopping as this was the only way last time I could be in control was just not to have these temptation items around. 


So here we go again....