someone else's wedding

Well first of all, last week no exercise and incredibly long hours for both Scott and myself - Monday 7am to 3am Tues morning and then back at work at 7am again for a 12 hour day. Every day it was 10-12 hrs.. So amounted to eating at weird hours, but I must say I did eat some garbage, and did NO exercise and still lost .5kg. So I really can't complain about that. However, if I did eat something "bad" I only ate a tiny amount of it.
Saturday we had a wedding of a work colleague which was nice but went late. I had a few drinks and stopped realising I wasn't enjoying it anyway. Food was buffet style, not something I'm a fan of much but didn't eat much.
Seeing the beautiful bride, reminded me of how I want to look and feel on my wedding day. I want to feel good, I want to not be ashamed or tugging on my gown because the middle is riding up, or the top is about to expose my boobs to the priest!. I want to be confident and look radient.
Sunday was a very quiet day in. Didn't go anywhere or do anything. Just prepared for the new week ahead.
This week has been a different story.
After getting a stomach bug on Sunday and nothing staying in including water until Monday night I realised I can't abuse my body or it will just give up. I only did 30 mins on the treadmill yesterday before I felt so ill I stopped came home and almost fainted. We had home made tacos and I ate just one.
Today I was back to see the doctor to talk about my weight loss, he was encouraging and just said remember it's not going to be overnight fix.
I did a hard work out at the gym then came home and cooked a stir fry, with leftovers for lunch tomorrow.
Work is still busy and that wont change.
I didn't sleep well last night after my boss who is one director of the company disclosed that he was fighting for my job to remain. There was talk of moving my role and integrating into another department. I had thought I was home free up until this point, but now I feel like it could go at anytime. The company was partially sold 3 years ago and the directors have owned 51% up until July this year, then things will change.
As shocked as I was, I didn't give in, I didn't eat my feelings as I was overcome with fear about losing my job - I did start biting my nails, something that I haven't done in 3 years I went to sleep around 2am. I have NO nails left as a result.
I have dinner at the Future-In-Laws tomorrow, always interesting as FMIL just refuses to understand I don't eat high fat food. She doesn't understand I don't "need" alcohol, or dessert. Some of you may think I'm being un-kind but it's just down right frustrating! I have lost almost 10kgs in my 30 odd to lose, and I won't be savotaged by anyone.
I'm never looking back on this... I don't feel like a fat person, but when I look down that's what I see. So brain needs to equal body. So I'm hoping to get a gym session in tomorrow morning.
Thursday I should have time for a gym session before going to my beautician appointment.
Friday is my night off - I never get home before the gym closes anyway.
Saturday will be cleaning and housework and gym. Sunday will be Gym and possibly a day out of the house.
So off to bed for me, need a good nights sleep.

That reminds me, must post some new pics soon....