Happy Loss for this week 1.1kgs Tues 14th July

Yep, 1.1kgs so the scales are FINALLY moving again, taking me to 92.5kgs or 21.5kgs gone forever. I've struggled over the last few weeks to keep motivated and stay on this journey but I knew that when I recommitted this was for the last time and that's why I haven't given up.

I know there are Lot's of WW followers on here, and like I've said before WW is great if it works for you but I had tired EVERYTHING with no luck, so I knew when I was doing this I had to do it for me and work out what I could and couldn't do in terms of food. My mentality has been that everything is okay at some point in moderation. Gee I even got drunk on Saturday night on Champagne and Red Bull (not that it takes much these days) and felt crap on Sunday not for what I had done, but the fact that I had a hangover!! haha...

I found out over the weekend that my ex-husband is getting re-married and I must admit that it came as no surprise as the fiance is a manipulative, conniving, home wrecking so and so but it did conjure up some feelings more about the friends and family I had lost in an instant. It's unfair when you do nothing wrong but you get punished for it.
I secretly then vowed that I was going to look my hottest best ever for my wedding day and am soooooo committed to this journey. I know I look better and feel better than I did 20+kgs ago but it's still hard sometimes to see yourself as not the HUGE fattie you once were. I still look in the mirror and see that person and that's a perception thing.
One of the nastiest things that has stuck in my head since the end of my marriage was his parting words when I asked "why her?" "She's thinner than you, curvy but ...." that's all I heard in my head and it stuck and then when I actually saw photos of her I thought OMG, come on what a cop out! She's not thin she's maybe a size 16 or so maybe an 18 even. Well you know what? I would be thinner than her now, and neither him or his family have seen me in a LONG time so when they do I'm going to freaking rock their world!!
I know some of you would be thinking why am I hung up on this? For almost 5 years I was rejected by my husband and I now have someone who cannot keep his hands off me and loves me for me and started dating me at my biggest EVER so yes I have something that I want to show the world and that is I'm just as good as the rest of them all!

Go me!!!

Meanwhile I will be working hard this week at the gym to ensure I'm keeping my fitness up and burning that fat. I do my own thing and I have no regrets about that. I am my own mentor, I don't need a coach yelling at me, I don't need a trainer telling me to push harder, I don't need a "diet" to do what I'm doing because I'm strong enough to achieve this on my own and take responsibility for this just lil ol me....