I always thought I had a pretty tough skin, but I'm starting to learn that I just don't. Perhaps I'm not as strong as I thought, or I'm just turning into a weakling.
People said to me when I separated from my ex-husband and now divorced at 28 that I must be such a strong person, but I did what I had to do. I won't lie and say it didn't hurt - because it surely did. It broke my heart...
I've trusted many people in my life and have been hurt by the closest on occasions but have always found a way to cope with the sadness and hurt but being fat is different. There is nothing to protect you or save you from the taunts.
Perhaps I used my eating to cover the hurt, but what do you do when you can hide in the fat because the fat IS the problem?
My DP, had a little joke about breakfast this morning, and instead of just laughing it off I took immense objection to it and was very hurt and left the house not eating anything. I'm sure it was innocent and he wouldn't have meant it in that way, but how do you cope when the person that you are supposed to be able to rely on isn't there for you?
I feel like I'm working hard - going to the gym and chosing the right options food wise and then I have a low day...
I left this morning with my self esteem at the bottom of the pond and don't know how to crawl back up...
2 comments:
Ness - mwah to you... and lots of cuddles too.
I know we are both on this unbelievably hard journey called "weightloss" but please remember that you are a beautiful person....
luv Jo xx
Ness
I truly understand...don't you dare go to that food....it isn't your friend and it won't help...Promise me no binging...
Lose the weight for you(if that is what you want) Your DP loves you...he like everyone else who has never struggled with this doesn't understand that a simple comment can affect how we think of ourselves and if we believe we can do this..
I believe in you... You can do this.. You are strong and intelligent and beautiful.....
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