Used up every excuse

I've used up every excuse... I haven't weighed in weeks, haven't eaten properly and haven't been to the gym. My work days have been nothing short of 12 hours most days and it's high stress and difficult not to lapse into bad habits.
I did eat KFC on Tuesday or Wednesday and felt so physically sick afterwards I decided that nothing is worth feeling that way!
I want to be focused so much, but I feel working such long days is really getting to me. I recieved this promotion at work but didn't recieve a pay rise, car or anything that the "boys club" have. I'm really working hard to prove myself but sometimes wonder if I'm just being used...

I really don't want to be a fat person anymore. It totally get's me down. I don't want to be a fat bride again, and I'm sure that when I get married again one day it will be different, but not if I don't take matters into my hands NOW.

I need that motivation, I'm just not sure what's going to trigger it. I have tried putting photos up etc, I've tried rewarding (not with food).
I know I really want this...

I look down at my body and feel replused and just will never understand how someone like Scott can be so wonderful and see past that. I just look at myself and shudder.
The gym used to be such a big part of my life, and now it's like it was left at the wayside. It's a little like starting all over again.

I'm trying to be positive and encouraging but it's a long journey.