Another Kg Down 7th April 2009

Yeah Yeah I know it's been a while. There isn't much to report. I'm working hard and that is both in my job and at my weight loss. I had a loss of a kg this week which I'm happy with. I sometimes like I work so hard and so little comes off.
I was at the gym 5 days last week. It would have been 7 if I could have got there on Thursday and Friday. I'm easting well, lots of veggies etc and lean meats. Trying to cut down on the carbs and replace that with protein.

People are noticing the loss which is nice, and comment and ask me about it. I know I do look quite different, I'm not bloated and a grey colour. My skin is good, hair is good.
I just am still in disbelief that I let this happen to me, what happened to the pride that I had in myself and my body, it clearly slipped away, but I'm on a mission to find it.

I don't like my body at all, and in fact I'm truly horrified that I did this to myself. It's so NOT ok.
Yes, I'm working on changing it, but for the moment it doesn't change the way I feel, which is YUCK I hate looking in the mirror at this fat person I don't recognise. I'm scared that I won't lose enough weight to enjoy myself on my honeymoon. OK I have till January, so over a year, but I just cannot slip up. I can't go on another overseas trip to a beautiful resort and not want to swim or even wear a pair of shorts or singlet top for fear over my body. I just wouldn't subject myself or any poor person around me to the white blubber.
So I have to keep on going and realise if I just stick to it, I can do it and the weight will come off and I will be toned and strong. Ok I may still be an albino but nothing a spray tan can't fix :)

So on the weekend I had my first glass of wine in about 2 months or so. I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would and I went to bed with a headache! Saturday was a busy day and we spent it running around buying things in preparation for the engagement party in 2 weeks time. I'm still unsure of how many people there will be, but it looks close to 40 now! In our unit, so that should be really interesting!
Sunday I was at the gym and then Scott really wanted to go out on the boat, so we went out on the boat and came in around lunch time, then went grocery shopping and I was exhausted and spent the afternoon on the lounge (in between loads of washing).

Well it's a short week at least, so that's good. The gym isn't open on Friday so I will have to make the special effort of ensuring I either work really hard in the lead up or get out for a good walk on Friday morning. Saturday we are off to my parents place for lunch. I haven't seen my stepsisters since Christmas, so it will be interesting to see if they say anything. Sunday night we have dinner at Scott's parents place with his nanna. So it's always a challenge because I never know what to expect food wise and can be hard to make an informed decision. Monday I will be cleaning after the gym, in anticipation of the Engagement party the following weekend.